DiaryINDEX｜past｜will
| 2003年08月03日(日) | 私の星 |
昨日の夕飯はほいごーろー（回？？）でした。それから、茄子の田楽味噌かけ。
中華風スープ（豚骨スープ、溶き卵、若布、長ネギ）。スープは私が作ったけれど、キャベツと豚肉炒めの方は旦那さんが作ってくれました。でも結局二人で。
作ってよ、と言ったら、いいよ、と快諾でしたが、もしかして切るのもおれがするの？というのに、うん！と答えたら、そんな簡単に言うか〜（TT)!と胸をちじませていました。
裏庭の私のお気に入りの場所から、夜になるといつも一つだけ星が見える場所が
あって、その星が気に入っています。降るような星空も素敵だけれど、あ、また
あの星だ、と決まっているのもいいです。その星ともお友達になりました。
昨日の英訳まだ済んでないな。いつものことですが、私のような主婦には必要な
内容のような気もするので、全部訳しておきたいです。そこで。
11. Money is the number one cause of couple conflict. For a relationship to work, you need to address your finances and work out a budget. You could also read Stop Fighting About Money by Corinne Sweet (Hodder & Stoughton,£6.99)
お金はカップルの仲たがいの一番の原因だ。仲良くやっていくためには、あなた方の経済状態に本格的に取り組んで予算を算出する必要がある。
12. If the domestic work is not divided fairly between you, it will cause friction in your relationship. Make a list of the domestic tasks, talk it through with your partner and mobilise the whole family, your partner included, to share the work.
家事の分担がフェアでないと摩擦を起こしやすい。家事リストを作ってパートナーとそれについて話し合うこと。パートナーを含めて家族を総動員して分担して
もらう。
13. If you have children, involve your partner as much as possible with the childcare - even if you feel he's not as good as it at you are. It's important to present a united front to your children.
もし子供があるなら、もしパートナーが子供の世話がそれほど上手でないように
思われても、できるだけ育児に参加してもらうようにしましょう。
14. Sort out your sex life. The sex may ebb and flow over the years, but if sex starts going downhill, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice a slide, question why and then work at bringing the passion back.
15. Don't assume you won't be tempted to have an affair as almost everyone is. You need to learn to resist. If you do stray, don't feel it spells the end of your relationship. Most couples recover, particularly from a one-night-stand, and often find that unrooting the cause of the affair helps them to get even closer. So, you need to learn to resist. But don't think that an affair is the end of everything.
16. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with him, ask yourself what you're angry about.
17. Be aware that men generally feel overwhelmed by emotion more than women do. If he's angry or tearful, half an hour's 'unflooding' time to himself will help get his balance back and make him more able to interact positively with you.
18. Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn't want to hear said to you. For extra help, read my book, Stop Arguing Start Talking (Vermilion, £6.99).
19. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.
20. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward. Read, Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher (Arrow, £8.99).
21. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that.
22. Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, then give him - and yourself - a break and start again, with someone else.
23. Realise that the two of you will shift and change over the years. So, even if you think you understand him, or believe you have agreements sorted, check regularly - at least once a year - to make sure that neither of you has changed your mind.
24. Know when to leave. If your life aims are incompatible, there are heavy drugs or violence around, or if there is consistently more pain than pleasure, then walk before the relationship destroys you.
25. Don't think that going to counselling equals failure. It can turn a bad relationship around. It can turn an average relationship into a brilliant one. Contact Relate on 0845 456 1310 for more information.
------Excerpts from iVillage
