DiaryINDEX｜past｜will
| 2003年05月12日(月) | she was so cute |
she loved those little wild flowers with no names,
those little stone images of jizos;wild nameless guardian little
deities of children and travellers,
she was so beautiful
Why she had to go I do not know
why she said I should get
much better without her.
Once she told me that she got awfully angry at her mother
because she does not understand how she feels and left her home lost
almost all hopes.She walked and walked until her anger brought her
where some trees of cucumbas as so long time as she felt.
When she came back home to her mother with a suvenior
of pieces of cucumba her mother was so busy that she did not know
even that her daughter had been so angry at all.
The daughter thought of herself as awfully stupid and
she scarcely got back her mother's home after she got married and
her mother said that her daughter forgot her parents.The daughter
passed away much sooner than her mother.The daughter,who is my
mother,said that she had been very happy and that she never felt
that she had hard times how much people did nasty things to her.
Her mother is in a sanatrium now.There is some wish to let her know
what her daughter said to me about her mother in my heart.
Her mother, my granma,was married young,did her best to her husband's
family.I want her to stay here a little more for me until I can tell
her that I am pregnant again.
One day in the morning a woman who neither heard nor said a word
came to me knocking at the door inside which I was cleansing plates
in a kitchen
Opening the door heard the knocking there I found her face
brightening with
the light of goddess,presenting some lovely wild flowers full of her
little two palms
tell me where to go how to treat something in my bosom
where can I hear my own psalms
What am I a woman? mother? wife? of a man?a human being.
